Write and that


I'm not the man I used to be

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I’m not the person I used to be. Nobody is. Everywhere I look I see strangers, behind every pair of eyes a hollowness that never used to be there. My invention changed the world, and then it changed everybody in it.

I’ve teleported more than anyone. The first time I shivered as my blood ran ice cold then swung to red hot, the reaction that gave teleportation it’s name; jolting. By my tenth jolt I didn’t feel a thing and declared my invention the driver of human progress. Instant global travel with no environmental impact.

The first travellers were the rich. Business leaders, billionaire entrepreneurs, presidents and prime ministers all came to my door. I saw the look on their faces after their first jolt. Their hands gripping unsteadily, their eyes darting back and to. With each trip they made I saw the reaction lessen, till jolting became mundane. I saw this, but didn’t see what it meant. Do the rich have souls to lose?

It’s taken 20 years, but now almost everyone in the world jolts daily. How many understand what it means to teleport? That the you who arrives home in the evening is not the same person who left in the morning? They may look the same, they may act the same, but you are not there. Your atoms are evaporating out into the universe, replaced by a golem imitating the old flesh.

I look and see mindless automations everywhere. There is no smile on any face, no anger in any heart. Every jolter in the world is a copy, of a copy, of a copy, and with each journey a little more whatever made people human is lost.

When I invented the teleporter I never considered people’s souls. As a scientist, I put aside such theological notions and studied the practical, the evidential, and the technological.

I should have listened to the priests.

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Brave of them to do a hymm called Tedium. #coronation

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I’ve seen Paul Daniels do this box trick. Is Charles going to disappear? #coronation

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Can’t believe they didn’t get the Go Compare guy to do the Welsh singing. #coronation

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Given #manutd performance tonight, the only thing keeping Brighton awake till Sunday is what goal celebrations to do.

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Off to Liverpool for the first time in ages, and ages. The Horrible Histories Escape Room awaits.

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Spring has arrived on the apple tree.

Buds on apple tree
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When you’ve pissed off Shakin’ Steven’s, you’ve really gone too far.

www.youtube.com/watch

(it’s a cracker of a song)

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Cold incoming.

Box of tissues
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I might lack Apple’s galaxy brain, but I would have thought it made sense to make their new classical music app for the #AppleTV. Their platform most likely to be directly hooked up to a multi-channel sound system.

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I regret to inform everyone, but if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit this is no longer your club.

Club chocolate biscuit
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I asked one of those AI image generators to create photographs of a Covid work event.

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Imagine you’re 8 and playing football in the park. A Premier League team bus pulls up, the players get out and one says, “Fancy a kick-about?”. The look on the 8-year old’s face is Weghorst. #manutd ⚽️

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Great to see all the solidarity with Gary Lineker today. 🥅⚽️🏃

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New #MOTD line-up announced.

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It’s only an Oxford comma if you’re writing in Oxford, everywhere else it’s an arbitrary rule designed to ostracise the proletariat.

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I must admit, I won’t be shedding any tears if onions run out. apple.news/A1Kz9_0CU…

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This is such a nonsense story from The Guardian.

www.theguardian.com/technolog…

Loads of people, not just Gen Z, struggle with office printers and the like (I’m firmly in the avoid work printers camp), and plenty of employees click random pop-ups, regardless of age and work experience, just ask any IT service desk.

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I was a big fan of the 80s Dungeon and Dragons cartoon, but who is paying nearly £30 for action figures?

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After many years of service, my keyboard has lost the use of its ‘z’ key. Suggestions for decent, but not too pricey, #Mac #keyboards are welcome.

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Arthur C. Clarke said any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. #ChatGPT is magic masquerading as advanced tech.

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A reminder to anyone posting about the murder charges. Anything you post could affect the trial, and nobody wants that. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2…

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I don’t have anything profound to add to this, other than how horrible it is a young person was murdered whilst just living her life. www.warringtonguardian.co.uk/news/2332…

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I tried watching Top Gun Maverick. Managed 24 minutes before turning off. The smarm just got too much. 📽

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Let’s petition parliament to serve nothing but porridge for a month. We can call it the ‘Lee Anderson’ menu.

The Guardian